‘I was the blackest sinner’

“Most people hope or assume that after they die, they’ll go to heaven. It’s a beautiful, happy place where there is no sorrow or sadness. God will wipe all the tears from our eyes, and peace and comfort will be with us forever.

It was the very thought of going to heaven, however, that showed me the lack of a relationship with God. Whilst I was in my church one Sunday, my pastor said, “The purpose of being heaven is to praise God and thank God. What will you thank Him for?”. What he said stuck in my heart. I tried to forget about what had been said by busying myself with other things like studying or listening to music. But the words kept on in my mind, and I just couldn’t get rid of them. What would I thank God for? I’d been taught He had created the world, and that He provided food and family and friends; I could thank Him for those things, but what would I thank Christ for? He was the person of God who died on the cross. His dying on the cross had nothing to do with the beautiful world; He’d died for sin. I looked back on all the wrong actions and words and thoughts I’d done and had. The more I thought the more I saw of how absolutely unworthy I was of ever even entering heaven, as I truly could say that I was the blackest sinner.

What could I do? My only hope was to try and ask this almighty God in this perfect heaven to forgive me, and wash all that wrong away. It took me a good while to summon up the courage to speak to Him, as I felt so black, and He is so perfect. However, eventually I did pray, and as I did so, the peace of God filled my heart, and it was like I saw the cross of Calvary with Christ hanging on it, saying I have loved you with an everlasting love! Tears were streaming down my face, as I realised that was what heaven is for; praising God forever for the hope and love He gives all people who ask Him for forgiveness of their sins, however bad they feel to be.”

  • Anonymous

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