‘It felt like everything around me was crumbling down’

Read Jecinta's Story

“I have known God all my life, and trusted Him as long as I can remember. Of course I’ve had doubts, and a lot of questions, and difficult times, but I’ve always known God to be faithful to me, to stick to His promises. I’ve lived in a couple of different places around the world, and have seen how the joy and peace of knowing that God loves us, saves us and doesn’t forget us transcends language or culture. I love knowing that God sees the whole world and still each one of us is significant to Him; He understands me better than I understand myself.

A couple of years ago I went through a really intense period of anxiety. I found myself in this position where it felt like everything around me was crumbling down – quite literally! My anxiety latched onto some bizarre fear of ‘the end of the world’, I was frequently convinced that the earth was shaking or the skies about to tear apart. It felt too ridiculous to explain to friends or teachers but I was jittery, lights and noises put me on edge and I was even afraid of clouds, the sky, and going outside.

But even in all of this turmoil, something deep inside of me reached out to God, that even when I was so confused by everything around me and within my own mind and body, I knew I had to cling on to the simplest truth somehow: that God is good and He loves me. And God was constant and faithful. He put people around me who would listen and didn’t treat me like I was silly; He provided an awesome counsellor who had experienced anxiety, who could explain what was going on in my brain and give me techniques to combat panic; He provided me with songs and Bible verses which comforted me. It’s like behind all of these was God’s whisper “I’m here, I’m listening, I’m watching over you”.

I’m loads better now. I sometimes still get anxious, but I know God is so good, He will never leave me alone, and He is bigger than anything else.”

  • Jecinta Mellen, Second Year, International Development

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